My Boss Is Bullying Me: How to Deal With It

When the person responsible is your manager

If your boss is bullying you, check how to raise concerns outside their management line. Record the conduct and report it to the alternative person identified in your workplace policy. You can ask for support and interim arrangements while the employer considers your complaint. You do not have to obtain your boss’s permission to describe their behaviour.

The power imbalance matters in practice. Your manager may control shifts, appraisals, training or the reference you hope to receive. That can make a simple instruction to speak up feel unrealistic. Plan the next step around your actual circumstances: who can help you prepare, which evidence is available and how to maintain ordinary work communication.

Separate demanding management from personal attacks

A boss can set standards, check progress and address mistakes. The question is how they do so and whether the expectations are fair and consistent. Personal insults, repeated humiliation or constantly changing instructions that leave you unable to succeed deserve scrutiny. Describe the conduct even if your boss calls it a management style.

Imagine that you are asked to finish a report by Friday. Receiving specific corrections on Thursday is not by itself bullying. Being called incompetent in a group chat, refused the information needed to finish and then criticised for missing the deadline presents a different concern. Keep the messages together so the sequence is visible.

Make your record useful to someone outside the team

Write for a reader who knows neither you nor your boss. Explain the task, the instruction, what resources were available and what happened next. Include the context needed to understand a quotation. Where your account relies on memory, identify that clearly rather than presenting it as a transcript.

Keep evidence you are entitled to retain. Do not enter a manager’s account, take colleagues’ confidential files or forward whole company mailboxes to a personal address. If a relevant record is controlled by the employer, note its location and ask the investigator to preserve it. Evidence gathering should not create a separate avoidable issue.

• Keep instructions and later changes together.
• Note when feedback was given publicly and who could hear it.
• Record requests for clarification and the replies you received.
• Include fair explanations or corrections that may change your understanding.

Raise the issue through an alternative contact

Find the named route in the grievance policy. If it sends complaints to your line manager, look for an exception where the complaint concerns that person. In a smaller business, this might be a director or owner. If there is no obvious independent contact, explain the conflict in writing and ask how a fair process will be arranged.

A focused opening might say: I want to raise a concern about how feedback and instructions are being given. On these dates, the following incidents occurred. I would like someone outside the immediate reporting line to review them. This is an illustrative structure; adapt it to the facts rather than copying language that overstates your position.

Ask for acknowledgement, the next step and an approximate timetable. If you want formal action, label the correspondence as a formal grievance. Keep the request professional, but do not soften an important fact simply to make the complaint more comfortable to read.

Ask for workable arrangements during the process

You may still need to work with your boss. Consider asking for written instructions, another manager at difficult meetings or a temporary point of contact. Explain the practical reason for each request. An alternative reporting arrangement is a request for consideration, not something every employer must automatically grant.

Continue complying with reasonable instructions and seek clarification where necessary. If something appears unsafe, discriminatory or outside your contract, obtain advice on the specific issue. Do not assume that making a complaint suspends normal workplace rules. Equally, record any new threat, unexplained loss of hours or adverse change after the complaint.

Know when outside advice matters

Legal options depend on what happened, your employment status and your service. Discriminatory conduct or retaliation for a legally protected complaint may engage rights beyond an ordinary bullying grievance. General unfairness does not automatically amount to discrimination, and reporting a manager does not by itself make every complaint protected whistleblowing.

If you are considering resignation, a settlement or a tribunal claim, get advice before committing to a decision. Keep the grievance process and legal deadlines on separate tracks. A promise that HR will reply next month is not a reason to assume you can wait until then to check your position.

For the immediate next step, prepare a one-page summary with the strongest examples and your requested outcome. Ask a representative or trusted adviser to read it for clarity. A concise account supported by an organised record is often easier to investigate than a long message written in the middle of an upsetting shift.

Frequently asked questions

Can I go above my boss’s head? Use the alternative reporting route in the policy where possible. If none is provided, explain why your manager cannot fairly handle a complaint about themselves and ask for an appropriate contact.

Should I refuse all meetings with my boss? Do not make a blanket decision without advice. Ask what the meeting concerns, request support where appropriate and explain any health or safety difficulty with the proposed arrangements.

What if my boss says I am too sensitive? Record the response, but return to the specific conduct and its work impact. The employer should consider the facts rather than resolve the complaint through a personal label.

Sources and scope

Guidance checked on 25 October 2026. This article covers England, Wales and Scotland. Northern Ireland has different employment laws and procedures; check the Labour Relations Agency guidance. Examples are fictional. Laws and procedures can change, so check the linked guidance and get advice about your circumstances.

• Acas: bullying at work
• GOV.UK: workplace bullying and harassment
• Acas: current tribunal time limits
• Northern Ireland: Labour Relations Agency

Dealing with something similar at work?

EviDiary helps you organise workplace incidents, notes and supporting evidence into a dated timeline. You can prepare a report using the features available on your plan. Start with the facts you remember and label any uncertainty; a diary does not independently verify an allegation or guarantee a legal outcome. EviDiary helps you document what happened and does not replace independent legal advice.

• Open EviDiary and start documenting
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