Harassment
My Manager Keeps Making Inappropriate Comments
Inappropriate comments from your boss? Learn how to describe the behaviour, distinguish possible harassment and report it through a suitable workplace route.
Describe the comment before deciding its label
If your manager keeps making inappropriate comments, record the words, context and frequency, then use a reporting route that does not require them to investigate themselves. Depending on the content, the behaviour may raise bullying, harassment, discrimination or conduct concerns. You can ask for it to stop even if you do not know which legal category applies.
The word inappropriate covers very different situations. A remark about your body, a joke about your religion and a rude response to a missed deadline need different analysis. Start by explaining what was said and why it concerns you. That gives the employer a practical issue to address.
Identify the type of concern
Unwanted sexual remarks may be sexual harassment. Other conduct can be harassment related to a relevant protected characteristic. Repeated personal put-downs may be bullying even where no discrimination claim is available. There can also be unprofessional comments that breach a workplace policy without meeting a particular legal test.
Do not assume that a manager’s intentions are obvious. A useful account explains the statement and any surrounding behaviour. If the comment was linked to a work decision, record that too. For example, a remark about your age followed by exclusion from training may need scrutiny of both the language and the decision.
Put the incident in its work context
Imagine that a supervisor repeatedly comments on an employee’s appearance during appraisals. The employee asks to discuss performance, but the supervisor returns to personal remarks. The important context includes the appraisal’s purpose, the power relationship and what happened after the employee tried to redirect the conversation.
Write down whether the comment was made privately, in front of a team or through a work channel. Note whether anyone could hear it and whether a contemporaneous message mentions it. If the exact wording is uncertain, give a careful summary. Do not present a reconstructed conversation as a word-for-word transcript.
Choose a response that feels workable
If you feel safe, you may want to say that the remark was unwelcome and ask that future feedback stays focused on work. This can be brief. You do not have to defend your personal life or answer intrusive questions to prove that a comment crossed a boundary.
If the behaviour is serious, persistent or intimidating, report through HR, a senior manager or the contact in the grievance policy. Explain that the complaint concerns your manager and request an appropriate alternative decision-maker. A small employer may have fewer options, but you can still ask how conflicts will be managed.
- Keep a copy of the concern you submit.
- Identify your clearest examples and any relevant documents.
- State whether you want a formal grievance process.
- Ask how further contact with the manager will be handled during the review.
Ask for a change in behaviour and process
A useful request describes what should happen differently. You might want personal comments to stop, a second person at appraisals, written feedback against job criteria or a temporary reporting contact. Explain how the proposed arrangement would help you continue working. The employer will need to consider what is appropriate and practical.
Do not feel obliged to suggest a particular punishment. The employer should investigate fairly before deciding any disciplinary response. Your concern can focus on safety, dignity, fair treatment and confidence in future supervision. Ask for a written outcome and a way to raise concerns if the behaviour continues.
Keep personal information limited and relevant
A complaint about intrusive comments may involve sensitive details. Include enough to explain the allegation, but avoid sending unrelated medical, sexual or family information. Ask who will receive your statement and how material will be shared for the investigation. Complete secrecy may not be possible where another person needs to respond.
Do not post the allegation publicly as a substitute for using the process. Public sharing can introduce privacy, confidentiality and other complications while doing little to improve the internal investigation. If you need outside help, use a representative or adviser and share the information needed for that purpose.
Review the response and your options
Read the employer’s findings against the points you raised. If the response says it was only a joke, ask how the actual words, setting and effect were considered. If the facts are disputed, identify any record or witness that was overlooked rather than repeatedly restating the conclusion.
If you experience adverse treatment after reporting, keep a separate record of that treatment. Depending on the complaint and the reason for the change, legal protection may apply. Seek advice promptly if dismissal, discrimination, resignation or legal action is under consideration. Grievance correspondence does not stop tribunal deadlines running.
Frequently asked questions
Can a compliment be inappropriate at work? Context matters. Repeated or sexualised comments can be unwelcome even if presented as compliments. Describe the wording, frequency, setting and your response.
What if the manager says they treat everyone the same? That does not automatically answer whether the conduct is acceptable or lawful. Explain the behaviour and ask how the policy applies to it.
Do I need to tell HR every personal detail? Include what is relevant to the allegation and its impact. Ask how sensitive information will be handled and seek advice if you are unsure what is necessary.
Sources and scope
Guidance checked on 25 October 2026. This article covers England, Wales and Scotland. Northern Ireland has different employment laws and procedures; check the Labour Relations Agency guidance. Examples are fictional. Laws and procedures can change, so check the linked guidance and get advice about your circumstances.
Dealing with something similar at work?
EviDiary helps you organise workplace incidents, notes and supporting evidence into a dated timeline. You can prepare a report using the features available on your plan. Start with the facts you remember and label any uncertainty; a diary does not independently verify an allegation or guarantee a legal outcome. EviDiary helps you document what happened and does not replace independent legal advice.
General information, not legal advice. Consider advice relevant to your own circumstances before making decisions.
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